In a Snap

In English

          My life dramatically changed one day. I used to be really happy, but I lost everything in a moment. A horrible accident… By chance I was the only one to stay alive. It seemed that there could be nothing more unfair in the world. I remember practically nothing about the subsequent several years. Nothing could bring out any of my emotions. I lost the ability to smile and my face features got distorted, but I didn’t care of that. Work, friends and acquaintances, much less the entire early life – all of that remained beyond the line. The people close to me were attempting to help, but due to my absolute indifference all the bridges were finally burned. I wasn’t thinking of my future life and prospective. I just existed.

          The sulky look was running its course and I could hardly remember the last time I had spoken to another person. Probably, somebody considered me deaf-and-dumb. So much the better. I was profoundly contended therewith. Buying groceries was the most difficult; therefore, I rarely went to a 24-hour shop. There was hardly anyone at night there, while a heavy lady-seller was always sleepy, rather than eager to communicate.

          The road passing next to my house, which used to look decent but then turned into an ordinary unattractive building, just befitting the owner thereof, was tending to the forest and, probably, leading somewhere… I fairly admit that I was never concerned therewith. Since a few cars were driving there per year, it could be assumed that it was a road to nowhere. Probably, these are the roads driven along by the guys having no place to drive to. It was raining, probably, for the fourth day in a row; I was reading a book barely differing from any other of my available books. A few years ago, in order not to become definitively demented, I had bought somebody’s relatively small library and brought it in sacks to my dwelling place. I re-read a greater part of those books since then. Meanwhile, one of those strange cars occasionally driving by my house for unknown reasons, showed with its headlight beams outside the window. About ten minutes later a pebble knocked gently at the window.

          Nobody had ever visited me since I moved there from the city. I was slightly surprised and instantly astonished at my suddenly awaken capacity for surprise, whereas a faint sarcastic smile remained inside and never stirred my lips. I went outside and saw a young woman soaked to the skin. I couldn’t see her face in the dark, but I guessed that she could examine me fairly well due to the headlights. She was spluttering something, immediately apologizing, making helpless gestures and pointing towards the car; she was laughing at herself and the situation created, tendering apologies again and saying continuously something to me. I got stuck like a computer trying to understand what I was supposed to do… Then, the stranger said calmly and confidently, in some other tone, that if I continued standing silently, I would get wet, likewise she was. Having been confused, I gestured her to come into the house and forced myself to say a few words in a ridiculous “morning” voice; the woman kindly laughed again and willingly followed me.

           A snag stuck in her tire, a left phone, the road almost destroyed by the rain and many other barely necessary details impetuously and carelessly stroke upon me that evening. There was neither phone in my house, nor any other means of communication, and my unexpected guest got absolutely and unpredictably amused therewith.        

          I was talking. Perhaps, at the beginning stiffly and not willingly enough, but I was speaking to a human. It was nice, for the first time in many years. For the first time somebody was talking to me in a so relaxed and trustful manner, so confidently and keenly, without any needless questions and seizing the meaning at once. For the first time, notwithstanding my appearance, somebody was taking interest in my life for some reasons without concealing anything from their own life. For the first time, I saw such beautiful and deep eyes, as well as listened to that extremely pleasant female voice.

          We were talking practically all night long. She left during the day, having asked the permission to meet again. I agreed on spur of the moment. But it was a mystery, how all those things could happen to me in just one night. The desires seemingly lost forever were gradually reverting, and due to a tornado of thoughts, I could not focus even on any of them. What are the origins of the shaped posture, magical surge of energy, and the very same smile?! I could clearly comprehend just one thing: for her sake, I was ready to change in two finger snaps.    

          There was not a single memory for the past six years! My consciousness was totally captivated just by one night conversation. Passing along the corridor, I stopped and closely examined myself in the mirror. I had never examined my mirrored image for so long. I wasn’t concerned therewith before that time, but now my desire to change something was struggling with incomprehension of the things to start with. The inner uncontrollable hysteria concurrently amused and frightened my male consciousness. At some point, I even felt ashamed of myself. But then it hit me – I was awakened. I was awakened deliberately, amicably, like in the childhood on my birthday! I was awakened and immediately presented an unusual gift, which I could not even dream of.